Very recently, an incident took place that left me stunned and trying to find answers. I was reversing from the parking lot at my work place onto the adjoining street.

A car was approaching, and I thought that I had enough space and time to make the turn before the car got to me. It turned out that it was a little close and the driver of the car would have had to wait a second or two for me to complete the turn.

The driver of the vehicle; began to honk his horn, so I pulled off the roadway so that he could proceed. An older person who I recognised to be a retired police officer was driving the vehicle, a Nissan Blue Bird. When he got along side my vehicle, he launched into an unprovoked attack on my mother's anatomy. He then made some suggestions as to what I should go and do to my mother, gave the middle finger, and then drove off.

The people standing around looked on in amazement. I was shocked, and could only say to him, "I think you need to repeat yourself". A young man who was in close proximity commented, "How a big man like that could behave in that manner"?

Clearly, this person was not in control. He lost it completely. It took him longer to stop to say all those things to me than it would have taken me to complete the turn, and be on my way.

While he was ranting and raving I thought of retaliating by giving him a piece of my mind, but when I looked at him I felt pity and knew that what he needed was God's grace and mercy and not a piece of my mind. At that moment, I was reminded that evil is never overcome by more evil. When someone says nasty, hurtful things to you one way of overcoming it is by showing them mercy, forgiving them and do what is right.

On my way home I was troubled by what had transpired and I tried to make some sense out of the situation. Experience has taught me that if someone is rude and inconsiderate it may be for many reasons. They may have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache that they are trying to cope with or overcome. Therefore, I was happy that I did not respond angrily.

I thought, clearly this is gross disrespect to another human being, but, I also know that respect for others is based on respect for self.

If a person has respect for self then, they will show respect to others in many ways. For example, they will speak and act civilly - avoiding insults, cruel remarks and rude or crude language. They will also be courteous and considerate of others. They will display tolerance for people and practice respectful ways of communicating.

When something happens, we can choose to hold on to that pain and become bitter, or we can choose to let it go. Since that incident I have let it go, I have moved on, I have forgiven that person, for I also know that to forgive is to live healthy. Anger, resentment, hostility, and vengeance can harm our physical and mental health and may even influence our risk of chronic health conditions, such as heart disease. When we do not forgive we are not hurting the other person, we are only hurting ourselves.

Forgiving someone does not mean condoning people or situations that have caused you distress or pain. It just means resolving your feelings and not letting upsetting experiences affect your emotional, spiritual, and physical health.

Lord Herbert in talking about forgiveness reminds us; "He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven."

–daviena@hotmail.com